fun oppressive language

The way we use language today can largely determine whether we are going to get smacked up the face or not. Actually, I lied. Getting smacked up the face is not the only possible outcome of misusing language. The offended party might instead respond with “What the f***k did that mean?”, “I’m never speaking to you again”, or “Oh haha, very funny” (internal dialogue: I’m going to kill you in your sleep). Either way, our society is very sensitive to the words that come out of our mouths. I have witnessed many such occasions within my social circles, particularly those of my friends, family, classmates, and random strangers, where someone’s seemingly innocent remark turns into a horribly, offensive slur.

One of the biggest forms of oppressive language is gossip. Gossip is like an angry bear. It slowly creeps up behind you and ferociously attacks you from behind. There’s a lot of back stabbing involved. My friend Carey starting going off one day about her friend looking like a hideous piece of shit that day. It turned out that her friend was sitting behind her at a different table. Today they still don’t speak to each other.  

Attempted compliments can also become offensive. In one instance my brother was trying to be genuinely nice to his new girlfriend by complimenting her shoes. She replied “They’re my sister’s shoes. I was late and hers were the closest to the door. I think they’re the absolute fugliest things I’ve ever seen in my life.” His response: “Oh.”

And of course the overly observant remarks. Someone told me the other day “You have freckles.” Uh, yea I do. What is that supposed to imply?

But the insensitive, clueless comments are by far my favorite. My friend Jasmine said her parent’s were divorced, in which my other friend Jordon replied “So why did they divorce?” Well, let’s see. They probably just wanted to live in separate houses for fun but couldn’t figure out how to go about doing it without getting a divorce, so they just slapped that into the picture.

Although seeing oppressive language being used by people I know personally is quite a sight, I have found that some of the most interesting scenarios come from complete strangers. I was standing in line in Walgreens when the cashier looks at the girl ahead of me and says “I like your shirt!”, in which she replied “Thanks”. “I like your belt too! Oh and your earrings! You necklace is also really pretty, so is the way you did you hair. Is that a barrette in your hair? Oh it’s so adorable! But yea you’re shirt is really nice. The color looks great on you. It works great with your hair. You’re hair is so pretty and shiny by the way! I like your…oh that will be $15.65.” Yes the girl had politely cut her excessive friendliness off and made a break for it as fast as she could. I was actually expecting her to start making weird machine sounds and saying: failure, inhumanly friendly.  

Street venders are horribly oppressive. A month ago I witnessed a street vender trying to sell tickets to a concert to a man near me. “Buy these tickets! You have to go to this concert it’s the best concert ever!”
Man: “No thanks”
SV: “No you have to, they’re such a great deal! You have to get them. Plus this concert is amazing. It’s just incredible. BUY THEM!
Man: “Uh..no th—“
SV: “BUY THEM! YOU HAVE TO BUY THEM! They are such a great deal! Plus it’s the best concert ever! Buy them! Buy them! BUY THEM!
Man: (what he should have said) SHUTUP YOU FRIEKISHLY ANNOYING AND DEMANDING BABOON

Clueless remarks are fun to hear, although they can turn out terrible. A few months ago I over heard two girls talking sitting in Starbucks. I kid you not, the first phrase I heard was “So do you miss your mom since she died?”

Pause for reaction.

I don’t remember what the other girl said. She mostly likely pretended that her hearing was messed up and she had not just heard those words come out of her friends mouth. I mean, what was her friend expecting to hear after that question? “No, not really. I mean she just died, it’s not like it’s that big of a deal. She was just my mother. So whatever, you know?”

Bluntness is also very oppressive at times. My brother has a habit of telling me kindly letting me know when I’m not looking my best. “You’re hair looks weird today.” My response “Thanks, I really appreciate the fact that you notice these details about me.”

Yeah right. My response was more along the lines of “Shutup, you’re face looks weird today.” Yes, I act very maturely in these kinds of situations.

Overall, language had been largely oppressive in the majority of my social circles to a rather large extent. I think the best conclusion and lesson one can conclude from careful observation of various types of oppressive language, is to just smack them biznatches up the face. Peace.